Let Go!

Stunned at my gesture, pondering how insensitive of me that not a pinch of sadness reflected or a droplet rolled over my cheek as I was parting from my home, hometown and home country. I was feeling something stronger inside than feeling fearful. As if apprehension was almost dead. Unsure about when that happened and what made me so audacious kept bothering me since the time I pushed all my bags and hopped into the cab.

Something severe in my view had happened in past and I lost one of the styles of looking at life. I was born a new. The way I looked at the world was changing.

When we had reached our destination, I strolled around the pathways of a highly populated and congested city; I told my mom that I have some kind of aversion for this place. At the same time however, my brother said this city would teach you the best things. The contradictory  thoughts just made their abodes amongst the countless and unclear notions.

My family, all set to see me off and to wish me bon voyage came along to the airport. Through the over crowded city roads the taxicab paced on a slot of flyover which was congestion free. I leaned back my head on the back seat to catch the sight of tall glamorous skyscrapers. Within a blink of my eyes, I saw the buildings change. I had followed something in that moment, however, I kept groping for the right words until I reached the airport.

Not high with excitement about flying first time nor anxiety had crept in yet. I hugged my parents and brothers to depart. In 24 years, this was the first time having a chance to look at world from a top view and thus I was then curious to peek out of the window to see how the world on the other side looks as I leave behind something. As the flight took off and hasted to giveup the road and fly, all the thoughts that had been bothering me lined up and formed a cluster to indicate that it all meant the same.

The flight flew up high, slowly lost the sight of my country. Clouds took its place. The turbulence increased and all I could see was the plane moving ahead cutting through the vapours. I could see the lightening in the distant indistinctive clouds merging together. And then the horizon with the bluishness fainted and orange, yellow, green were defining the presence of a luminous object at the other end.

And not a scene lasted forever!

The city that I had disgust for, things and humans all moved the same way. That disgust for the city was because of the fast dislocation and inconstancy, which was disturbing. The magnificence of the skyscrapers, immensity of attraction to a person, people or place, the brilliance of the horizons, the hindrances or the turbulences nothing can be held in the same way forever.

It secretly reminded me of  that  incident where I had to move away! It made me numb but now am a realized person to understand that its a law of this world. I joined the dots and all conclusively read as ‘Let Go!’.

Sometimes commitment matters, sometimes consistency and discipline matters to clasp certain scenes. Sometimes, letting go releases you and gives you freedom from all the urge and desperation to hold on and lets you see through a new angle of just experiencing what comes your way and then again letting it pass.

I understood, I wasn’t insensitive but rather focussed on welcoming the things as not everlasting episodes. I understood the words ‘letting go’ and ‘the change is constant’.